It's going to be six years soon, and I still feel so raw about it, you passing away and all. and I almost want to think about it, about how painful it is because I feel like it's a way of being closer to you. I miss you, I don't know what else I can say. I wish you were here when things got hard so you could tell me it will be okay. I still think about the day you passed away, and I still feel so guilty for not going to the funeral. Because I wanted to be there, so bad, to say my last good byes. But I couldn't, and I'm so sorry.
I wish the last thing I said to you wasn't something stupid, I couldn't think straight, because you were going already, I should have said Good bye, I'll be okay. But then again I don't think any words could have described how I felt.
And then you left....
I don't think I'll ever "feel okay" about this, you know? You'd probably tell me not to worry, but I can't help it.
I miss you and grandpa. I replay that home video of us often, just to see you guys again. I know, so depressing right? But it makes me smile.
I miss talking to you, I miss taking walks with you, I miss going to the morning market with you, I miss when you sang to me before I fell asleep. So many things....
Even though I'll be fine in the morning, it's still hard.
But I'll always be my grandma's favorite girl.
亲爱的奶奶，
我好想你。
～杨睿， Lily
i remember my other grand ma :( i've been missing her alot too lately.
ReplyDeleteall her niece and nephews say that she was the best aunt
What a lovely post!
ReplyDeletethanks for sharing
x
Thank you so much for a moving and personal post :) It's good to miss someone, even though it's painful too. Makes us really remember and honour the person we miss :)
ReplyDelete<3 hug
ReplyDeletelovely post ^__^!
ReplyDeletebtw. i tagged you =)
http://memorabledays-x3.blogspot.com
this is really beautiful
ReplyDeleteit actually brought a tear to my eye
:)
http://vintageaurora.blogspot.com/
xoxo
I'm so sorry I haven't seen this post until now.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that your grandmother is not here with you anymore.
This post was really beautiful. I think it described exactly how I feel every time I think of my own grandparents (dad's side). If they ever left me, and I couldn't even say anything or help them, I don't know what I would do. I just love them.
Do you believe in Heaven and reuniting with family and friends there? I think you might meet up with her later on in life. I don't know, it feels weird to say that.
But, she'll always be with you, everything she did for you, or when she took care of you, all her actions and words will always live inside you, all these memories. And the love too..
<3
It's OK honey.... *hugs*
ReplyDelete